FOLLOW THE SUN

FOLLOW THE SUN

What do I mean when I say;
FOLLOW THE SUN? 

I really want to discuss today what I mean when I say, “FOLLOW THE SUN” and what that has meant to me. Some of you reading this may remember me as a teenager and some of you wouldn’t believe, if I shared my past with you, that I am the same person today. I was a lost soul. Very confused and full of emotions. I had a LOT of love in my heart and sometimes that lead me to do hurtful things to the people I love. You’re probably wondering how someone with love in their heart, can hurt people they love. Well, it’s more that you want to keep so many different people happy and content with you, that you’re constantly trying to do the right thing by each person. Which in the end, leads you to hurt people. I wasn’t aware of myself when I was younger. I would just run with the first thought I had and do that thought. No matter what it might be. I don’t want to delve into the specifics of my younger adolescents because I try not to let dwell on my old self. It’s too painful. I am ashamed and it stirs up so much anxiety within me. Eventually I got to a point in my life where I knew continuing to behave, love and feel the way I did, was not sustainable and I was going to be constantly winding up in the same position. It’s vicious cycle. So, I made a choice, a choice to change. It was small steps at first – “Don’t date someone you can’t be friends with first” – “Do things for yourself” – “What do you want to do this afternoon after work?” – “Go to that music festival with your friends next weekend”. These sound like pretty small choices of change, but I truly had never taken the time to get to know myself. Understand myself and what made me happy, deep down on the inside. From there, I started to become more in control of myself. I started to know what I enjoyed, and I took the time out to breathe and feel my way through decisions. A whole year of this – 2017 – It was the best year of my life. I was single for the whole year (I hadn’t been single since I was 16!) Thinking back, that blows my mind. So eager to grow up and have it all worked out, at 16! No wonder I was confused. The end of the year came, and I was having fun, gaining back those years I missed out on, but I wasn’t content where I was and knew there was more learning to do. Which lead me to Victoria. I had family in Victoria that I knew I could rely on for emotional support and encouragement, as I was still going through a huge life transisiton. I got a job doing the grain harvest, so I packed up my Prado (totally couldn’t afford a car like this) and headed off. It was a gamble, I had no money, and I didn’t even know when the job would start, as it was seasonal. But, for the first time in my life I was doing something for me. I had always wanted to move back to Victoria, ever since I left as a young 12-year-old girl. When I got here, I was a ball of anxiety. I lost 7KG’s and was the skinniest I had ever been, ever! I flitted between jobs, trying to just keep earning money – I was broke. Although, most young people are, so I don’t think I should be too hard on myself (LOL). I was following my sun, making decisions based on what felt right and to be honest, everything in my life turned around. I met Daniel (we’re now married with two babies), and GUESS WHAT? We were friends! Remember my “choices of change” above, “Don’t date someone you can’t be friends with”. We were best friends, he was (still is) an absolute crack up. We could share a laugh, a beer, a cheeky ciggy and then we could share more than this. We fell in love – fast too. Which was a bit scary, because in the past this didn’t work out so well for me. But I remember reflecting on how fast things moved (still do) for us, and I realised it’s OK – because that’s how we both work and that is how we work together. So, things evolved. I got a new job doing something I never thought I would do, but now realise I am born to do it. It involves a lot of compassion, love and care. Again, things I am full of and can now spread in a positive manner. I had my boyfriend, a new job, I was no longer broke and could say I was DEBT FREE for the first time since I was 18! Things were going well and still are. I am so blessed in this life, but not because it was all handed to me, or I am “lucky” but because I made change. Personal change and development. I now do not do anything in my life that does feel right. I follow my sun, every day. Of course, I still have moments of mental turmoil and I’m not living on cloud9, 24/7 but as an overview of where I am today, on the inside and the way I look at myself and know who I am – I am on cloud9. If you have made it this far, I hope that sharing a little snippet of what Follow The Sun means to me, can help you make choices or change to Follow The Sun in your life. Change only needs be small to begin, but those small changes will 100% amount to big change when you think back on your past days.

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